Musings on The Mountain

Monday, June 26, 2006

Emptiness

I am writing this for The Scheherazade Project.

As I walk through the hallway my heart pounds, my ears buzz, my eyes glaze over. How is that in the midst of this crush of humanity I am still all alone? I walk next to someone, I brush a man's elbow, a woman's skirt swishes against my legs, yet I feel nothing.

Two weeks ago I found out the greatest news, I am pregnant. My beloved and I are expecting our first born. I have dreamed of being a mother since my very earliest memories. Such pure joy, rapture. I am going to be a mother. I tell no one. I want to keep this secret inside of me, just me and the baby for a few days longer. I don't even share it with my husband. I whisper to my child, I share the secrets of my life with them. I lie in bed at night rubbing the tight skin of my stomach and willing this little life to grow and develop.

Today I am empty. The fetus, my child has left. In a rush of pain and blood and agony it is over. As quickly as it began, it is done. All that is left is my hollowness. The hole in my heart that only my child, my dead child, could fill. I feel nothing.

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This piece is fiction, but based on true feelings that I have. Please feel free to give constructive criticism. I am interested in feedback.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Simple Living Books

I want to read:
Not Buying It
- Judith Levine
This Suburban Life
Your Money or Your Life
The Simple Living Guide
- Janet Luhrs
Drop City
-TC Boyle
Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone
-Deborah Madison
Anything by Thich Nhat Hahn
Material World: A Global Family Portrait

Well, My First Blog

Ha! I have now become a blogger. LOL I never thought that I would do this. My impetus though is The Scheherazade Project. I really want to take part in this and it seems that I have to have a blog in order to do so. Here I am!